Sometimes, I am a great mom.
Yes, I also have days where I am a terrible mom, but sometimes, I am a really great mom.
Recently I had coffee with a friend, and I was excited to share my goals for 2018, until she asked me, “Do you ever have days where you feel like a good mom?” It surprised me, because of course I do. But I realized that it seemed to her like all I was doing was beating myself up for all the things I do wrong as a mom. She spoke some life-giving words to me, saying that I hold myself to very high standards, and she thinks I am a great mom and that I do so many things that she didn’t do when her kids were my age. And then she said she thought I should take some time to recognize what I do well.
She’s right. It’s good to have goals and want to improve. But focusing on all the things we need to do better and the ways we want to improve can be discouraging, and we don’t want to sit in discouragement.
When you have a day that you feel like a good mom, what does it look like? For me, it means getting up a little earlier than my kids so that I can take care of myself first. Then I have more patience, and I’m able to focus on their needs because my own have been met. It means spending a little time with God, and eating my breakfast.
Obviously not every day can be perfect, but if we look at what a good day entails, maybe we can replicate it more often. You ARE a good mom. Here’s a hug and a pat on the back for you, in case you forget to give yourself one. Let’s let go of the guilt, and start toward our 2018 mom goals with some extra grace for ourselves, instead of discouragement. You’re doing great!